CleanJokes
2026-11-14T07:52:59Z
CleanJokes List Owner
mark@mindconnection.com
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Pro Dada v11.21.0 stable 2023-08-07
(j)Punishing Telescammers, #422
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-11-12:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261112053433%2F
2026-11-12T05:34:33Z
2026-11-12T05:34:33Z
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Let him give his whole pitch, then say, "I made $15 million last year. How much did you make?"</span></span></span></span></p>
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(j)One-liner #350
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-11-10:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261110052937%2F
2026-11-10T05:29:37Z
2026-11-10T05:29:37Z
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds.</span></span></span></span></p>
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IRS T-shirts, #290
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-11-09:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261109053632%2F
2026-11-09T05:36:32Z
2026-11-09T05:36:32Z
<p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">IRS:</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Employees Who Are</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Passionately Devoted To</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Scamming and Stealing</span></span></span></span></span></p>
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(j)Skinny turkey
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-11-07:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261107053045%2F
2026-11-07T05:30:45Z
2026-11-07T05:30:45Z
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door.</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""> </span></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">"Please let me in! I forgot to buy a turkey and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one." </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">"OK. Let me see what's left." </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">"That one's too skinny. What else have you got?" </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes then brings the same turkey back out to the man. </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">"Oh no, that one doesn't look any better. You'd better give me both of them."</span></span></span></span></span></p>
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Cat Law #20
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-11-06:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261106053223%2F
2026-11-06T05:32:23Z
2026-11-06T05:32:23Z
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:Consolas"><span style="color:black">Law of Obedience Resistance - A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
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(j)Punishing Telescammers, #421
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-11-05:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261105053639%2F
2026-11-05T05:36:39Z
2026-11-05T05:36:39Z
<p>When he asks you a question, reply with, "I'm sorry that fellow threw your mother in front of the train. Did he go to prison for that?" After a couple of exchanges, change it to the father. "Did you ever find out why that man threw your father in front of the train?" Then later, "Sorry, but I have a train to catch." Then hang up.</p>
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(j)One-liner #349
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-11-03:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261103053520%2F
2026-11-03T05:35:20Z
2026-11-03T05:35:20Z
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.</span></span></span></span></p>
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IRS T-shirts, #289
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-11-02:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261102053408%2F
2026-11-02T05:34:08Z
2026-11-02T05:34:08Z
<p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">IRS:</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Specializing in </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Moral Depravity</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Since 1917</span></span></span></span></span></p>
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Cat Law #19
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-11-01:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261101053544%2F
2026-11-01T05:35:44Z
2026-11-01T05:35:44Z
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:Consolas"><span style="color:black">Law of Rug Configuration - No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
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Cat Law #18
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-10-31:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261031064621%2F
2026-10-31T06:46:21Z
2026-10-31T06:46:21Z
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:Consolas"><span style="color:black">Law of Dinner Table Attendance - Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
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(j)Punishing Telescammers, #420
tag:dadanew.mindconnection.com,2026-10-29:%2Fcgi-bin%2Fmail.cgi%2Farchive%2FCleanJokes%2F20261029064422%2F
2026-10-29T06:44:22Z
2026-10-29T06:44:22Z
<p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Interrupt and say, "I'm sorry about your brother's drug addiction."  He'll probably say he doesn't even have a brother, much less one on drugs. After a bit, ask some stupid question about the addiction. "Did he try a support group?"</span></span></span></span></p>
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