CleanJokes

CleanJokes https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/list/CleanJokes/ These jokes are generally "rated G". en-us Sat, 14 Nov 2026 07:53:00 GMT Pro Dada v11.21.0 stable 2023-08-07 (j)Punishing Telescammers, #422 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261112053433/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Let him give his whole pitch, then say, "I made $15 million last year. How much did you make?"</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Thu, 12 Nov 2026 10:34:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261112053433/ (j)One-liner #350 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261110052937/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds.</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Tue, 10 Nov 2026 10:29:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261110052937/ IRS T-shirts, #290 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261109053632/ <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">IRS:</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Employees Who Are</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Passionately Devoted To</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Scamming and Stealing</span></span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Mon, 09 Nov 2026 10:36:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261109053632/ (j)Skinny turkey https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261107053045/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door.</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""> </span></span></span></p> <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">"Please let me in! I forgot to buy a turkey and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one." </span></span></span></span></span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">"OK. Let me see what's left." </span></span></span></span></span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. </span></span></span></span></span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">"That one's too skinny. What else have you got?" </span></span></span></span></span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes then brings the same turkey back out to the man. </span></span></span></span></span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">"Oh no, that one doesn't look any better. You'd better give me both of them."</span></span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Sat, 07 Nov 2026 10:30:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261107053045/ Cat Law #20 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261106053223/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:Consolas"><span style="color:black">Law of Obedience Resistance - A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Fri, 06 Nov 2026 10:32:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261106053223/ (j)Punishing Telescammers, #421 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261105053639/ <p>When he asks you a question, reply with, "I'm sorry that fellow threw your mother in front of the train. Did he go to prison for that?" After a couple of exchanges, change it to the father. "Did you ever find out why that man threw your father in front of the train?" Then later, "Sorry, but I have a train to catch." Then hang up.</p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Thu, 05 Nov 2026 10:36:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261105053639/ (j)One-liner #349 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261103053520/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Tue, 03 Nov 2026 10:35:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261103053520/ IRS T-shirts, #289 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261102053408/ <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">IRS:</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Specializing in </span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Moral Depravity</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Since 1917</span></span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Mon, 02 Nov 2026 10:34:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261102053408/ Cat Law #19 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261101053544/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:Consolas"><span style="color:black">Law of Rug Configuration - No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Sun, 01 Nov 2026 10:35:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261101053544/ Cat Law #18 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261031064621/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:Consolas"><span style="color:black">Law of Dinner Table Attendance - Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Sat, 31 Oct 2026 10:46:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261031064621/ (j)Punishing Telescammers, #420 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261029064422/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Interrupt and say, "I'm sorry about your brother's drug addiction."  He'll probably say he doesn't even have a brother, much less one on drugs. After a bit, ask some stupid question about the addiction. "Did he try a support group?"</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Thu, 29 Oct 2026 10:44:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20261029064422/