CleanJokes

CleanJokes https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/list/CleanJokes/ These jokes are generally "rated G". en-us Wed, 01 Jul 2026 04:09:00 GMT Pro Dada v11.21.0 stable 2023-08-07 (j)One-liner #336 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260630063557/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">People are making end of the world jokes and it's crazy how much, like there is no tomorrow.</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Tue, 30 Jun 2026 10:35:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260630063557/ IRS T-shirts, #275 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260629063637/ <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">IRS:</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">We Don't Care</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">That</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">You Don't Owe</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">We're coming after you anyhow</span></span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Mon, 29 Jun 2026 10:36:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260629063637/ (j)UK thoughts, #3 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260628063846/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Little Johnny is sitting in geography  class when the teacher asks him, "Where is Pakistan?"</span></span></span></span></p> <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">He replies,  "Outside playing with Paki-Dave". </span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Sun, 28 Jun 2026 10:38:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260628063846/ (j)UK thoughts, # 2 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260627065352/ <p>When I was in the  pub I heard a couple of dick heads saying that they wouldn't feel  safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexist twits. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the  bloody thing!</p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Sat, 27 Jun 2026 10:53:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260627065352/ (j)UK thoughts, #1 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260626070038/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">The wife was counting all the 10 cents and 20 cents out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and  started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself,  "She's going through the change."</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Fri, 26 Jun 2026 11:00:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260626070038/ (j)Punishing Telescammers, #407 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260625063748/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">When he asks for a response after his sales pitch say, "I've been pitched this same scam a dozen times already in the past two weeks. Can't you guys come up with anything original?"</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Thu, 25 Jun 2026 10:37:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260625063748/ (j)One-liner #335 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260623063658/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Never trust a dog to watch your food.</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Tue, 23 Jun 2026 10:36:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260623063658/ IRS T-shirts, #274 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260622064029/ <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">IRS:</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">No Accountability</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">For</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top:7px; margin-bottom:7px"><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Exceptionally Abusive Behavior</span></span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Mon, 22 Jun 2026 10:40:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260622064029/ (j)Dodged the bullet again https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260621064039/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Another Father's Day and no Father's Day card. What a relief!</span></span></span></span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">I don't have any children that I know of, but every year about this time I get anxious that some woman or another will hit me with a paternity suit or some kid or another finds out who their father is and I'm on the hook for college tuition.</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Sun, 21 Jun 2026 10:40:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260621064039/ (j)My boss called https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260620063329/ <p><span style="font-size:11.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">He said, "Is everything okay at the office?"<br /> <br /> I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."<br /> <br /> "Can you do me a favor?" he asked.<br /> <br /> I said, "Of course, what is it?"<br /> <br /> He said, "Hurry up and take your shot, I'm in the foursome behind you."</span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Sat, 20 Jun 2026 10:33:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260620063329/ (j)Punishing Telescammers, #406 https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260618064621/ <p><span style="font-size:11pt"><span style="font-family:Calibri,"sans-serif""><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">When he asks a question, say, "Excuse me. I thought I heard you say you were castrated. Can you tell me more about that?" He'll deny saying it, at which point you angrily retort, "Are you calling me a liar?"</span></span></span></span></p>  <form action="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi" method="post" accept-charset="UTF-8" id="subscription_form" target="_self" > <input type="hidden" name="flavor" id="ddm_flavor" value="subscribe" > <div class="row"> <div class="small-12 columns"> <input type="hidden" name="list" id="ddm_list" value="CleanJokes" > <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns"> <label class="medium-text-right" for="ddm_email" > Email Address </label> </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="email" name="email" id="ddm_email" value="" required="required" placeholder="user@example.com (required)" > </div> </div> <div id="ddm_subscriber_fields"> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-4 medium-4 columns">   </div> <div class="large-8 medium-8 columns"> <input type="submit" name="submit_button" value="Subscribe" class="button success expand" id="ddm_subscribe_button" > </div> </div> <div class="row"> <div class="large-12 medium-12 columns large-centered medium-centered"> <p class="text-center"> Unsubscribe at Anytime | <a href="https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/privacy_policy/CleanJokes/" target="_blank" > Privacy Policy </a> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form>  Thu, 18 Jun 2026 10:46:00 GMT https://dadanew.mindconnection.com/cgi-bin/mail.cgi/archive/CleanJokes/20260618064621/