Interrupt and say, "Let me guess. You got a funky liberal arts degree in some esoteric major instead of learning a trade or getting a degree an employer will pay you for, so now you are so desperate for a job you sunk to telemarketing. Am I right?" ...Continue Reading

Dick PinscherRay PurrGail Force ...Continue Reading

The inventor of the door bell did not own a dog. ...Continue Reading

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4fu90taz_8 ...Continue Reading

A fellow decided to have a Halloween party, with the theme being a costume that represents an emotion.  On the night of the party, the house began filling with people. A married couple entered, and the man said, "My costume's all brown because I feel like shit." His wife said, "All the colors? I have PMS." A beautiful woman entered, wearing a red dress with ruffled sleeves.  "I'm red with anger." A woman in a green dress arrived, stating she was green with envy.&nbs ...Continue Reading

Well, there's good news for many Americans. The IRS plan to penalize the parents of children who fail to report Halloween candy as income will be limited to waitresses, waiters, teachers, and small business owners. ...Continue Reading

Bill Clinton just bought his wife some new black frilly crotchless knickers. It's not for the sex; it's so she can get a better grip on her broomstick while she's out on Halloween.    ...Continue Reading

A man with a woman strapped to his back shows up at a Halloween costume party.The host asks, "I don't get your costume. What did you come as?"The man replies,"I came as a snail."The host snickers and says, "What about her?"The man replies, "She's Michelle". ...Continue Reading

Two brothers, Jim and Jason, had been going to the same Halloween party every year for the past 40 years. They were noted for their originality in "figure out what I am" costumes. In fact, this was now a regular contest. The first person to figure out what they both were would get a prize--assuming that happened within the two-hour time limit. Most years, it didn't. Jim and Jason walked around the party for two hours, carrying a coffee can with a slot in the lid. People would wink and drop in their ballot ...Continue Reading

Dave looked down at the papers in front of him, then looked up. "I see you people are all set for Halloween." The person he spoke to asked, "How do you mean?" "You may not be dressed up, but there's no mistaking you for vampires. I've never met such blood suckers in all my life. When my kids ask for Halloween costumes this year, I'm going to bring them to your office to see what real monsters look like." With that, Dave rose from his chair and left the IRS offices. ...Continue Reading