Edgar's family has two traditions. One tradition is every Thanksgiving, Edgar strips naked and screws the turkey until he collapses, exhausted, in a sweaty heap. They don't stuff it (Edgar took care of that part), but they do bake it. The other tradition is Edgar always takes his family to the annual IRS employee picnic. Pretty much the same thing. ...Continue Reading

Let him give his whole pitch, then say, "I made $15 million last year. How much did you make?" ...Continue Reading

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How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds. ...Continue Reading

IRS: Employees Who Are Passionately Devoted To Scamming and Stealing ...Continue Reading

Just think...if the Indians had given the Pilgrim Fathers a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving. ...Continue Reading

It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door. "Please let me in! I forgot to buy a turkey and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one." "OK. Let me see what's left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. "That one's too skinny. What else have you got?" The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes then brings the same t ...Continue Reading

Law of Obedience Resistance - A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something. ...Continue Reading

When he asks you a question, reply with, "I'm sorry that fellow threw your mother in front of the train. Did he go to prison for that?" After a couple of exchanges, change it to the father. "Did you ever find out why that man threw your father in front of the train?" Then later, "Sorry, but I have a train to catch." Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

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