A bald man with a wooden leg got invited to a Halloween party. He didn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he wrote to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:  "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate. Very truly yours, ACME Costume Co." The man thinks this is terrible, because they ha ...Continue Reading

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't" he stated in a phone intervie ...Continue Reading

This skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop." ...Continue Reading

A man answered the door on Halloween night.  A little boy was standing there. The boy wasn't wearing a costume. Instead, he was dressed in slacks and a dress shirt and tie.  The little boy said, "Trick or treat." Confused, the man asked, "What are you supposed to be?"  With a straight face, the little boy answered saying, "I'm an IRS agent."  The man held out the Halloween bowl and the boy took 25 percent of it, then left without even saying "Thank you." & ...Continue Reading

Incompetence + Unfettered Power = IRS ...Continue Reading

Nancy Pelosi ...Continue Reading

The missus asked me, “When you’re away on a business trip, do you think about me?”  Apparently, “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer. ...Continue Reading

Colin PlungerLou SeeOh Kay ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and ask, "Do you sleep on a Queen size bed or a Twin size?" Keep asking that, no matter how many times he answers it. ...Continue Reading

Kay OtticYu SeeKay Bull ...Continue Reading