Q: What is one thing almost nobody is thankful for?A: Waiting in line after Thanksgiving and smelling other people's turkey farts. On the other hand, if you are sadistic enough--you wait for this time all year long. Then you get next to the longest, slowest line you can find and release a string of "silent but deadly" farts and walk off. ...Continue Reading

IRS:Intoxicated byPowerDevoid of Morality ...Continue Reading

A couple was contemplating marriage. The woman said, "Let us agree that in our marriage, you will make all the big decisions, and I will make all the small decisions". The man was surprised that she would concede so much control but readily agreed. She said, "Wonderful. I will make the small decisions. I  decide how many children we will have, where we will live, and how to handle our finances. You will decide what to do about Red China, the federal debt, and global warming." ...Continue Reading

Ole was hunting geese up in the slough. He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, the foolish dog knocks the gun over, it goes off and Ole took most of an ounce of # four shot in the groin. Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed he comes to, and there is his doctor, Sven. "Vell, Ole, I got some goot news and some bat news. Da goot news is dat you are going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin. Dere vas very little internal damage, and ...Continue Reading

Q: Why did Pilgrims' pants always fall down?  A: Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat. ...Continue Reading

https://twitter.com/ScottBaio/status/1726457496683028692 ...Continue Reading

Dick PullerGail WindsDick Stroker ...Continue Reading

Someday, Thanksgiving will have real meaning to Americans. We will celebrate the day that our lawful government (yet to be re-established) abolished the IRS. In the meantime, let's remember most of the people they hire are retards, screw-ups, and misfits. We should not fear IRS employees, we should ridicule them. ...Continue Reading

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it, and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it, and that comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't ...Continue Reading

Two ministers were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf.  One stepped up to the first tee, took a mighty swing and missed the ball entirely and said "Shit, I missed."  The other minister asked him to watch his language.  On his next swing, he missed again. "Shit, I missed."  The second one said "I'm not going to play with you if you keep swearing," The second is really mad now and says, "God is going to strike you dead if you keep swearing l ...Continue Reading