Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the hell out of a dude at a party. In my defense, when you hear an Arab counting down from 10 your instincts kick in. ...Continue Reading

I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!” Thinking back, I really should have run. But you don’t get offers like that every day. ...Continue Reading

Evon SudeddRay CistDick Waad ...Continue Reading

Keep interrupting and asking, "What did you say my name is, again?" [He will at first think you asked him to repeat HIS name] ...Continue Reading

Jack InoffB.L. OmiMia Dick ...Continue Reading

I accidentally used the dog's shampoo. Now I feel like such a good girl! ...Continue Reading

Q: What's the most important thing to bring to an IRS audit? A: A condom. ...Continue Reading

I got this text from my brother recently. “Can I stay at your house for a while?"I replied, "Why?"He replied, "The old lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. "I replied, "Seems like an over-reaction. So how long is it?"He replied, "It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat.” ...Continue Reading

A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says, “I can’t believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!” ...Continue Reading

Anna Lynn TrudorAnna LitchAnna Lingus ...Continue Reading