January 18th 2026 EST
Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom. ...Continue Reading
January 17th 2026 EST
It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer. ...Continue Reading
January 16th 2026 EST
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Fifty Cent all weekend. ...Continue Reading
January 15th 2026 EST
Slurp loudly and making gulping noises. After a while of doing this in his hear, make some smacking noises. Then say, "Sorry about the noise, you called me while I was eating. If you want to call me back in an hour, you can catch me while I'm crapping." ...Continue Reading
January 14th 2026 EST
Chris Topher Ima Phelan Woody Koch ...Continue Reading
January 13th 2026 EST
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore. ...Continue Reading
January 12th 2026 EST
Mary Holiday Will Full Rex Butz ...Continue Reading
January 11th 2026 EST
If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it. ...Continue Reading
January 10th 2026 EST
Sorry, you won't make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label. ...Continue Reading
January 9th 2026 EST
The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1) ...Continue Reading
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