I accidentally used the dog's shampoo. Now I feel like such a good girl! ...Continue Reading

Q: What's the most important thing to bring to an IRS audit? A: A condom. ...Continue Reading

I got this text from my brother recently. “Can I stay at your house for a while?"I replied, "Why?"He replied, "The old lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. "I replied, "Seems like an over-reaction. So how long is it?"He replied, "It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat.” ...Continue Reading

A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says, “I can’t believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!” ...Continue Reading

Anna Lynn TrudorAnna LitchAnna Lingus ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and say, "I've heard this same line of BS from six other telescammers today. I'm just curious if you actually found someone who is gullible enough to believe it, so far in your day." ...Continue Reading

Connie JobsFoo KyuCy Koe ...Continue Reading

I don't think it's fair that only roosters are allowed to start the day screaming. ...Continue Reading

IRS:When you're unhappy,We're ecstatic ...Continue Reading

What’s the difference between an illegal alien and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own bike, and wanted to go home! ...Continue Reading