ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own bike, and wanted to go home! ...Continue Reading

Wife says to husband, “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car.” He replies, “If you take it up the ass and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!" ...Continue Reading

Goff UkyerselfHarry SachsE.A. Taddick ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and say, "Are you aware that 8% of people in your line of work are violently assaulted by a coworker? That's almost one in ten. Look around. How many people are in your office? Which one will assault you?" Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

Ben WaughYuri NassRay Tardeau ...Continue Reading

I started a dating site for chickens. It's not my day job, I do it just to help make hens meet. ...Continue Reading

Noah HanzBen HaddBen Long ...Continue Reading

Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, “Fuck that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!” ...Continue Reading

John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John"s minivan and headed north.  After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.  "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."   ...Continue Reading

Gay ButzNoah BushSukh Mikok ...Continue Reading