Practice your Bangalore accent so you can answer the telemarker in the same incomprehensible way he speaks to you. Or use a fake Scandinavian accent to converse with the telemarketer (see the movie Fargo for examples). ...Continue Reading

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What happens if you scream at an electrician, "Eat my shorts!"? ...Continue Reading

IRS:IncompetentRetardedStupid ...Continue Reading

After months of gentle urging from his wife, a man finally had to admit he needed a hearing aid.  The audiologist confirmed it. "How much do they cost?" he asked her.   "As you might expect," she said, "There's quite a wide range. They run from $2.00 to $2,000."  "Wow, the low end is lower than I would have ever guessed!" he said. "Let's see the $2.00 model."  The woman gave a knowing nod, and pulled it out of the closest drawer. "You just s ...Continue Reading

A chicken farmer went to a local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of Champagne. The woman perks up and says,"How about that? I just ordered a glass of Champagne, too!" "What a coincidence" the farmer says."This is a special day for me. I am celebrating." "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!" says the woman. "What a coincidence!" says the farmer. As they clinked glasses the man asked,"What are you celebrating?&q ...Continue Reading

A devout church-going woman named Anna hangs around after mass one day to talk to the priest. When he steps out of the church, she says to him, "Heaven help me, Father, I have a problem." "What is your problem, my child?" the priest asks. "Well," Anna begins, "I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing, and they say it over and over again." "What do they say?" the priest inquires. "They say, 'Hi, we're easy. Want to have s ...Continue Reading

When a telemarketer starts off, he usually spews a blur of sound from which you are supposed to know who's calling. Fat chance, there. So return the favor. Reply to any questions the same way. Speak super fast and blur the words together, skipping consonants. ...Continue Reading

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The irate barber was in a lather. ...Continue Reading