Just think...if the Indians had given the Pilgrim Fathers a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving. ...Continue Reading

It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door. "Please let me in! I forgot to buy a turkey and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."  "OK. Let me see what's left."  He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.  "That one's too skinny. What else have you got?"  The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minute ...Continue Reading

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now. ...Continue Reading

IRS: The Place WhereHuman DecencyDoes Not Exist ...Continue Reading

He reported a history of new money fever. It turned out he didn't get all hot and bothered about wining the lottery or reaping an inheritance. He'd had a fever from pneumonia. ...Continue Reading

She reported having Grandma Ceaser's [Grand maul seizures] ...Continue Reading

This gentleman had "fecal therapy". What a load of crap! He actually had physical therapy. ...Continue Reading

Telescammers almost never say their name or that of their company clearly. So interrupt and ask, "What was your name again?" Then ask him to spell it, and repeat back the letters incorrectly. Play dumb with this a few times. Then ask, "Are you Scottish? Where is your family from? How old is your father?" Then move on to the same ploy for the company name. ...Continue Reading

Mike RackTodd OodledooDick Stretcher ...Continue Reading

If a tree falls in the woods and nobody sees it, a chihuahua 500 miles away will bark at it. ...Continue Reading