Interject with, "I'm just curious how many people sue your company each year. I'll bet it’s a lot." ...Continue Reading

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I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. ...Continue Reading

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Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill." Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on. "Well," said the other brother, "you said to do somethin ...Continue Reading

Our local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago. The first Sunday, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached for an hour and a half. I asked him about this. He then told me "well, John, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were still hurting a lot. Now the third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!&quo ...Continue Reading

Early on the second day of her ski trip, Emma fell and broke her leg. As they were putting a cast on her leg later that day, she asked the doctor, "Why couldn't this have happened on my last day of skiing?" The doctor replied, "This is your last day of skiing." ...Continue Reading

Ask, "So what was it like, getting electroshock therapy? Do you have burn marks at your temples?" ...Continue Reading

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Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it. ...Continue Reading