AnythingGoes Archives

 

(j)Professional Worrier

February 14th 2026 EDT

Two California businessmen were lunching together. Fred says, "I hired a professional worrier so that I don't have to worry anymore. Now I have so much less stress!" Mike says, "That sounds great. How much does he cost?" Fred, "$150,000 a month." Mike, "Yikes, that's a lot of money! How are you going to pay for that?" Fred, "That's his worry." ...Continue Reading

(j)Unusual Necklace

February 13th 2026 EDT

I was in a gift shop and saw a necklace that was most unusual. When the sales person told me it was made from alligator teeth, I pointed out that it was significantly more expensive than the pearl necklace next to it and asked why. She said, "Anybody can open an oyster." ...Continue Reading

(j)Punishing Telescammers, #298

February 12th 2026 EDT

Write down a few of the scams you get pitched by telescammers. Then the next time a telescammer calls you, respond to his questions with one of these. ...Continue Reading

What were the parents thinking, names #66

February 11th 2026 EDT

Noah Moore Noah Less Teri Bull ...Continue Reading

(j)One-liner #316

February 10th 2026 EDT

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge. ...Continue Reading

IRS T-shirts, #257

February 9th 2026 EDT

IRS: Anal Intruders Here We Come ...Continue Reading

(j)Today's Pop Quiz

February 8th 2026 EDT

Q: What kind of grades did the pirate get in school? A: High Cs ...Continue Reading

(j)Rates

February 7th 2026 EDT

A slice of apple pie costs $3.00 in Jamaica and $3.50 in the Bahamas. Those are the pie rates in the Caribbean. ...Continue Reading

(j)Today's Pop Quiz

February 6th 2026 EDT

Q: What does a pirate pay for his hook and peg? A: An arm and a leg. ...Continue Reading

(j)Punishing Telescammers, #297

February 5th 2026 EDT

Interrupt and say, "You sound like a person with bad breath. Am I right?" ...Continue Reading
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