Interrupt and say, "Are you aware that 8% of people in your line of work are violently assaulted by a coworker? That's almost one in ten. Look around. How many people are in your office? Which one will assault you?" Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

Ben WaughYuri NassRay Tardeau ...Continue Reading

I started a dating site for chickens. It's not my day job, I do it just to help make hens meet. ...Continue Reading

Noah HanzBen HaddBen Long ...Continue Reading

Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, “Fuck that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!” ...Continue Reading

John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John"s minivan and headed north.  After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.  "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."   ...Continue Reading

Gay ButzNoah BushSukh Mikok ...Continue Reading

Pepper the idiot with a series of stupid questions, like the pointless ones asked in job interviews. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What is your favorite color? What's the dumbest mistake you ever made? ...Continue Reading

Phat DongT WattsC Undt ...Continue Reading

I told my suitcases, "No travel this year." Now I am dealing with emotional baggage. ...Continue Reading