AnythingGoes Archives

 

(j)Classes for Men: Day One

April 4th 2025 EDT

Classes for Men: Day One  HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYSStep by step guide with slide presentation  TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?Roundtable discussion  DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)  DISHES & TABLEWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts.  LOSS OF VIRILITY Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups  LEARNING HOW T ...Continue Reading

(j)Punishing Telescammers, #264

April 3rd 2025 EDT

After he makes his opening statement, which likely includes slurring his name, say, "Wow! A real telemarketer! I have been waiting for my whole life to get a telemarketing call! Wait, I have to go tell my wife!" Then set the phone down and don't pick it up again until the call has ended. ...Continue Reading

What were the parents thinking, names #14

April 2nd 2025 EDT

Justin SiderBrownie ShytlesMike Litoris ...Continue Reading

(j)One-liner #281

April 1st 2025 EDT

The angry clone was beside himself. ...Continue Reading

IRS T-shirts, #240

March 31st 2025 EDT

IRS:ImmoralRetardsServing no purpose ...Continue Reading

(j)Rattlesnakes

March 30th 2025 EDT

Felix was playing golf with the town's fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, "Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out."  The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting assistance with removing the snakes.  "You've got to be kidding," Felix replied in astonishment. "People actually call the fire department to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?"  "Well," ...Continue Reading

(j) Baby Airplanes

March 29th 2025 EDT

A mother and her very young son were flying Westjet Airlines from Ottawa to Calgary. The little boy (who had been looking out his window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"  The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant the same question.  The flight attendant, who was very busy at the time, smiled a ...Continue Reading

(j)Baseball Humor

March 28th 2025 EDT

Jimmy Piersall, on how to diaper a baby:  "Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond, with you at bat.  Then, fold second-base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first-base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call-the-game and start all over again." ...Continue Reading

(j)Punishing Telescammers, #263

March 27th 2025 EDT

Repeat back something he said, but deliberately get it wrong. For example during his monologue he says the payments are $99 billed twice monthly. "Let me get this straight. The payments are only $2 a month. And the first nine payments are made to me?" Keep doing this until he hangs up. ...Continue Reading

What were the parents thinking, names #13

March 26th 2025 EDT

Ben DoverDixie NormousJack Goff ...Continue Reading
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Some bawdy stuff, but no gratuitous profanity. Much of the material is original, not simply passed along from someone else

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