Interrupt and ask if he can ship you a box of condoms. Then just pause. ...Continue Reading

Noah Branes Cummin Yerrbut Cy Clopse ...Continue Reading

When I was very young, I thought both the universe and stupidity were finite. Astronomers have proven the first to be false, and Democrats have proven the second to be false. ...Continue Reading

There Are Facts Then There is the IRS Version ...Continue Reading

The City of Redmond, WA bought a new fleet of snowplows and asked the locals for names for the plows. Here is a sample of what came back: Scoop Dogg Control + Salt + Delete Snow Be Gone Kenobi The Big Leplowski Betty Whiteout ...Continue Reading

Two West Virginians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guess how many there are, can I have one?" "I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmm......, five?" ...Continue Reading

A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. When she arrives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape into the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape b ...Continue Reading

Partway into the "conversation" ask him who it is he was calling. If he says your name, apologize and say that you are [make up a name similar to yours]. Let him stammer out something, then hang up. ...Continue Reading

Enos Hertz Handel Cox Anil Hammer ...Continue Reading

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. ...Continue Reading