***Keep your kids safe, this year. Don't let them trick or treat at the homes of known IRS employees.*** ...Continue Reading

 A bald man with a wooden leg got invited to a Halloween party. He didn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he wrote to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:  "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate. Very truly yours, ACME Costume Co." The man thinks this is terrible, because t ...Continue Reading

Just bought the wife some new black frilly crotchless knickers. It's not for the sex; it's so she can get a better grip on her broomstick while she's out on Halloween. ...Continue Reading

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't" he stated in a phone intervie ...Continue Reading

This skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop." ...Continue Reading

A man answered the door on Halloween night.  A little boy was standing there. The boy wasn't wearing a costume. Instead, he was dressed in slacks and a dress shirt and tie.  The little boy said, "Trick or treat." Confused, the man asked, "What are you supposed to be?"  With a straight face, the little boy answered saying, "I'm an IRS agent."  The man held out the Halloween bowl and the boy took 25 percent of it, then left without even saying "Thank you." & ...Continue Reading

Q: How do you know when Joe Biden made the right decision?A: Look overhead. If you see pigs flying, he got it right. ...Continue Reading

Answer back with, "You're the same guy who tried to sell me penis enhancer cream yesterday." When he denies it, start arguing. "I know it was you. What's your name? Didn't you say you had a birthmark on your armpit? And your mother joined the Bolivian Army?" ...Continue Reading

The bell rings. The teacher starts class and 3 kids are late. Teacher says, "Why are you late?"The first kid replies, "I was on top of Rose Hill".Teacher: "OK, take a seat."The second kid walks in.Teacher: "Why are you late?"The kid replies, "I was on top of Rose Hill too".Teacher: "OK, take a seat."The third kid walks in.Teacher: "I guess, you were on top of Rose Hill?" The kid replies, "No, I am Rose Hill." ...Continue Reading

An oxymoron walks into a deli and orders fresh frozen jumbo shrimp. ...Continue Reading