I had a dog I named Joe Biden. He started slobbering and barking incoherently. It got worse and worse. It was awful to watch, and I eventually had to have him put down. (Heard around the DNC just before Kamala's nomination) ...Continue Reading

Ask the telescammer, "What is your name again?" Then ask them to spell it. Repeat the spelling and then get it wrong. Do this twice then say, "Maybe you should change to your grandmother's last name. On your mom's side. How do you spell it?" Get that one wrong, too. Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they are in trouble again. ...Continue Reading

Rene Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks if he'd like a drink. He says, "I think not." And Poof! He disappears. ...Continue Reading

The US CONgress gets serious about ending terrorism, and consequently abolishes the IRS. Of course, a responsible Congress is something that happens only on TV and in your dreams. Obviously, this isn't reality TV. ...Continue Reading

Money can't buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. ...Continue Reading

Why is "sleepy Joe" so woke? ...Continue Reading

Wait for the sales pitch to stop, then say, "Did you know that 21% of people in your line of work become incontinent by age 55 and roughly half of them have a major accident in a public place?" ...Continue Reading

Q: What is a man's ultimate embarrassment?A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose. ...Continue Reading

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartenders asks, "Oliver or twist?" ...Continue Reading