My neighbor complained a lot about his 90 minute commute, mostly how he hated sitting behind the wheel three hours every day. He'd been looking for a job closer to home, and finally got one. "Fantastic," I said. "What are you doing now?" "I'm a bus driver." ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and ask him to call you back on your other line. Give the phone number of the local Democratic Party office. When he calls you back, apologize for your mistake and give him the phone number of the local Republican Party office. ...Continue Reading

Warren Peace Ima Fokker Mary Christmas ...Continue Reading

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. ...Continue Reading

IRS: Now Hiring Decent People Need Not Apply ...Continue Reading

Democrats: This shit sandwich is really delicious! If you don't rave about it, we will deplatform you. Open wide…. Republicans: That's a shit sandwich. Even with those sesame seeds, it can't taste good. Here, eat this ham and Swiss on rye instead. I'll throw the other one out for you. Legacy media: Trump takes food away from hungry Democrats, tries to slip them something white as part of his being so racist. ...Continue Reading

Julius is in the bathroom and Mick shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?" Julius says, "Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine." ...Continue Reading

Julius & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.  Mick:  "What if one explodes before we get there?" Julius: "We'll lie and say we only found two." ...Continue Reading

Ask him to spell his name. Then slowly say the letters back, but get them wrong. Keep this going until he hangs up. ...Continue Reading

Bart Fokker Colin Fokker Luke Warm ...Continue Reading