Team Biden: A perfect track record of abysmal performance and outright failure ...Continue Reading

Keep interjecting with, "Amen!" and "Say it again!" The caller from Pakistan will not understand the reference. Total confusion! ...Continue Reading

In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger."  "Then I don't want it," retorted the customer. "I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!" ...Continue Reading

I bought a book titled "How To Scam People Online" about three months ago. It still hasn't arrived. ...Continue Reading

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know. Take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello", I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter”? Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear “Get the right f***ing number!” and he slammed down the phone. I couldn't belie ...Continue Reading

The manager of a large office noticed one of his department heads had hired a new man, so the boss called him into his office for a little orientation speech. "What is your name?" he asked.  "John," the new guy replied.  The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last names only - Smith, Jones, Baker - tha ...Continue Reading

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.  The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.  "This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought.  A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he ...Continue Reading

1974: The teacher tells the class, "Study hard. You could become President some day."2024: The teacher tells the class, "Study hard. Or else you could become President some day." ...Continue Reading

After the opening pitch, say, "Oh, goodie! I haven't heard this scam before. A new one. Please go on." If the caller does go on, periodically press the # button and say, "Oops, I was wiping my butt. Can you start over?" ...Continue Reading

Last summer, my husband, Bill, took me camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore.  One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. Bill tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun (it was an overcast day). Just as I was beginning to panic, he spotted a small cabin off in the distance. Bill pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, turned and led us right back to our camp.  "That was terrific,&q ...Continue Reading