Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartenders asks, "Oliver or twist?" ...Continue Reading

IRS:We Get AwayWith CrimesAnd Commit Them Gladly ...Continue Reading

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch... ...Continue Reading

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go, they take your house and car with them. ...Continue Reading

Joe Biden has delusions of adequacy. ...Continue Reading

When the scammer tries to get response from you with his first question, say, "I need you to do me a favor." Then wait. When he asks what, say, "I have to hide 40 kilos of cocaine. I'll bet it'll all fit up your ass." ...Continue Reading

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. ...Continue Reading

1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin. ...Continue Reading

The IRS supervisor could not decide which of the four applicants to hire. So he called the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.  The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"  Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought i ...Continue Reading

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'downunder.' ...Continue Reading