Q: Why did Pilgrims' pants always fall down?  A: Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat. ...Continue Reading

https://twitter.com/ScottBaio/status/1726457496683028692 ...Continue Reading

 Someday, Thanksgiving will have real meaning to Americans. We will celebrate the day that our lawful government (yet to be re-established) abolished the IRS. In the meantime, let's remember most of the people they hire are retards, screw-ups, and misfits. We should not fear IRS employees, we should ridicule them. ...Continue Reading

This little snippet is becoming common in the workplace, as people mull over working like dogs and still being broke: "After you take a Joe, don't forget to wipe your Biden." ...Continue Reading

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it, and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it, and that comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't ...Continue Reading

Edgar's family has two traditions. One tradition is every Thanksgiving, Edgar strips naked and screws the turkey until he collapses, exhausted, in a sweaty heap. They don't stuff it (Edgar took care of that part), but they do bake it. The other tradition is Edgar always takes his family to the annual IRS employee picnic. Pretty much the same thing. ...Continue Reading

Just think...if the Indians had given the Pilgrim Fathers a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving. ...Continue Reading

It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door. "Please let me in! I forgot to buy a turkey and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."  "OK. Let me see what's left."  He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.  "That one's too skinny. What else have you got?"  The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minute ...Continue Reading

An elderly gentleman was reading his recovery-room record at the hospital where I work.  He looked quite concerned at one notation.  "I know I was in a bit of a muddle, but I didn't realize I was that bad," he said to me apologetically. "I hope I didn't offend anyone."  He was greatly relieved when I explained the acronym in question meant "Short Of Breath" and not what he thought. ...Continue Reading

The preacher said, "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up."  Nobody stood up.  "Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up."  One elderly gentleman stood up.  "Are you honestly saying you knew an absolutely perfect man?" he asked, somewhat amazed.  "Well now, I didn't know him personally," replied the little old man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first ...Continue Reading