Q: Where does Dracula water ski?A: On Lake Erie Q: What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?A: A blood vessel Q. What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?A. Count Duckula  Q: What did the mad scientist eat on Halloween?A: Frankenfurters with Ketchup Q. What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?A. They boo-kle their seatbelts Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?A: Don't spook until you're spooken to. ...Continue Reading

Q: How does the silly witch know what time it is?A: She looks at her witch-watch. Q: What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?A: An amoeboo! Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night?A: By blood vessels. Q: Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?A: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend! Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?A: He was repossessed. Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?A: A BOO-logna sandwich. ...Continue Reading

Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?A: To the dead sea Q: What is Transylvania?A: Dracula's terror-tory Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?A: Pumpkin PiA: But if you divide the diameter by the circumference, you get inverted pumpkin pi! Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries?A: Because people are dying to get in. Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?A: He didn't have the guts. ...Continue Reading

Q: Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day? A: It's good for the bones Q: What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? A: White Pillowcases Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? A: SquashQ: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away Q: What was the witches' favorite subject in school? A: Spelling Q: Why did the mummy call the doctor? A: Because he was coffinQ: What does a vampire fear most? A: Tooth decay Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account? A: At a blood bank ...Continue Reading

Q. What do witches put on their hair? A. Scare sprayQ. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A. Bamboo Q. What's a haunted chicken? A. A poultry-geistQ. Why did the monster eat a light bulb? A. Because he was in need of a light snack Q. Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles? A. Have you ever tried to iron a monster? Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make? A. Boo boos Q. Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? A. Because of his coffin ...Continue Reading

Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?A. They're afraid of flying off the handle! Q. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?A. No body Q. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?A. Bone appetit!Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A. Dayscare centers Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A. His ghoul friend. Q. What monster flies his kite in a rain storm? A. Benjamin FrankensteinQ. What do ghosts serve for dessert? A. Ice Scream Q. What's a monster's favorite play? A. ...Continue Reading

Brainless Biden's appearance on The View confirmed his mental decline reached a truly scary level because the audience for that show are all stupid in the extreme. ...Continue Reading

***Keep your kids safe, this year. Don't let them trick or treat at the homes of known IRS employees.*** ...Continue Reading

 A bald man with a wooden leg got invited to a Halloween party. He didn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he wrote to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:  "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate. Very truly yours, ACME Costume Co." The man thinks this is terrible, because t ...Continue Reading

Just bought the wife some new black frilly crotchless knickers. It's not for the sex; it's so she can get a better grip on her broomstick while she's out on Halloween. ...Continue Reading