AnythingGoes Archives

 

(j)Camping

June 26th 2024 EDT

Last summer, my husband, Bill, took me camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore.  One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. Bill tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun (it was an overcast day). Just as I was beginning to panic, he spotted a small cabin off in the distance. Bill pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, turned and led us right back to our camp.  "That was terrific,&q ...Continue Reading

(j)One-liner #253

June 25th 2024 EDT

Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off? ...Continue Reading

IRS T-shirts, #226

June 24th 2024 EDT

IRSDestroying LivesIs HowWe Get Off ...Continue Reading

(j)Jail for Harry

June 23rd 2024 EDT

Harry and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems. One day, Harry didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Harry hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Harry lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.  A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen t ...Continue Reading

(j)Today's pondering thought

June 22nd 2024 EDT

When bees move into a hive, do they have a swarming party? ...Continue Reading

Bidenomics

June 21st 2024 EDT

Bidenomics: The only economic plan based on inflating the money supply 83% in 18 months while signing legislation and executive orders that cause businesses to fail and GDP to plummet. ...Continue Reading

(j)Punishing Telescammers, #234

June 20th 2024 EDT

When the telescammer asks for you by name, don't reply. There'll be a pause, and they'll ask again. Reply with, "It's very cruel for you people to keep calling, you know [my name] died an agonizing death. I've changed the number 11 times now. Please stab your boss in the eye with letter opener." Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

(j)Who's the boss?

June 19th 2024 EDT

I told my cat, "You are not the boss of me."He disagreed. ...Continue Reading

(j)One-liner #252

June 18th 2024 EDT

I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, there's another taco. ...Continue Reading

(j)Deli owner takes on the terrorists

June 17th 2024 EDT

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS terrorist about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.  "Why don't you sickos leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is closed only three days a year, and you want to know how I made $80,000?"  "It's not your income that bothers us," the terrorist said. "It's these expenses. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife. ...Continue Reading
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