AnythingGoes Archives

 

(j)Delusions

August 30th 2024 EDT

Joe Biden has delusions of adequacy. ...Continue Reading

(j)Punishing Telescammers, #244

August 29th 2024 EDT

When the scammer tries to get response from you with his first question, say, "I need you to do me a favor." Then wait. When he asks what, say, "I have to hide 40 kilos of cocaine. I'll bet it'll all fit up your ass." ...Continue Reading

(j)Today's Pop Quiz

August 28th 2024 EDT

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. ...Continue Reading

(j)One-liner #262

August 27th 2024 EDT

1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin. ...Continue Reading

IRS Hiring Experience

August 26th 2024 EDT

The IRS supervisor could not decide which of the four applicants to hire. So he called the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.  The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"  Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought i ...Continue Reading

(j)Today's Pop Quiz

August 26th 2024 EDT

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'downunder.' ...Continue Reading

(j)The Antisemite

August 24th 2024 EDT

Peter, a well known anti-Semite, walks into a bar and is about to order a drink When he sees a guy close by with yalmakah and payos, he doesn't have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is Jewish.  So he shouts over to the bartender so everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for that Jew over there." Soon after the drinks have been handed out, he notices that the Jewish guy is smiling, and waves to him and says, "Thank you." This infuriates him and in a l ...Continue Reading

Happiness is….

August 23rd 2024 EDT

Joe Biden's picture on a milk carton. ...Continue Reading

(j)Punishing Telescammers, #243

August 22nd 2024 EDT

Interrupt and say, "You should go to an Italian deli, get a carton of spimoni, add rat poison to it, and eat it. You'd be doing the world a favor." ...Continue Reading

(j)Hollywood Squares, #10

August 21st 2024 EDT

Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. ...Continue Reading
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