Not long ago, I met the waitress of my dreams.  About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad."  She nodded, picked up the potato and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know." ...Continue Reading

Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood. ...Continue Reading

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office always sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.  While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"  "Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual ques ...Continue Reading

A Jewish son tells his father he is moving out. The son returns a year later and tells his father that he has converted to Christianity. The father is upset and calls his friend who is also Jewish. “You won’t believe this, my son David moved out for a year and came back and told me he converted to Christianity.”  His friend says, “you won’t believe this...my son Benjamin moved away for a year and when he came back HE converted to Christianity too”! Both upset, they call their rabbi and explain what happened.   ...Continue Reading

A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says. The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral. “What does that mean?” the blonde says. “It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay u ...Continue Reading

Bidenomics is part of DEI. They want to make sure that when it comes to poverty, everyone feels included. ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and say, "I'm sorry, I though you were the diarrhea assistance people calling me back. Last week, I got help from the constipation assistance line and now I can't stop going." ...Continue Reading

Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get $2,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?" ...Continue Reading

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?It's okay. He woke up. ...Continue Reading

IRS:Useless PeopleWho Enjoy DestroyingUseful People ...Continue Reading