He says it's working. Yep, 100% inflation while on his watch (each dollar now worth 50 cents because twice as many dollars because insane level of spending on stupid stuff). ...Continue Reading

When he gets done with his pitch and asks you the "call to action" question, say, "I can tell what happened to you, and I'm really sorry that it did. Nobody should be abducted by aliens and subjected to anal probes the way you were. But at least you got to see the inside of a UFO." Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

An old couple comes up before the judge in a divorce proceeding. Seeing how absolutely ancient they are, the judge just has to ask their ages."Well, your honor," the old man says, "I'm 99 and my wife here is 97.""Wow," the judge says. "How long have you been married?""I married Pearl three days after she turned sixteen, so that would be a little over 81 years.""Eighty-one years?!" the judge said, incredulous."Eighty-one years of pure torture," the old ...Continue Reading

There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin. ...Continue Reading

IRS:DevastatingInnocent FamiiliesDaily ...Continue Reading

A young woman brought her fiancée home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out more about the young man.  The father invited the fiancée to his study for a little talk. "So, what are your plans?" The father asked the young man.  "I am a biblical scholar," he replied. "A biblical scholar, hmmm?" The father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?” "I wil ...Continue Reading

Never tell your cat, "You are not the boss of me". That is just asking for trouble. ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and say, "Let me ask you a question." When he pauses, make him wait instead of asking the question. Do this a couple more times, then hang up. ...Continue Reading

You told their kids for years that if they applied themselves, they could be anything they want. Even President. For the last three years, they have thrown that back in your face as if it's your fault Biden is in office. ...Continue Reading

It was only when I bought a motorbike that I found out that adrenaline is brown. ...Continue Reading