My math teacher called me average. How mean! ...Continue Reading

IRS: Non-existent Morality Unlimited Power ...Continue Reading

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low? ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and ask, "Did either of your parents work in an honest job, or did they both go into something disreputable such as telemarketing or drug dealing? ...Continue Reading

Russ Tedd Noah Time Stu Wing ...Continue Reading

My kids are very optimistic. Every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full. ...Continue Reading

IRS: Now Hiring! People with a Conscience Need Not Apply ...Continue Reading

My grandad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.... "It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me. ...Continue Reading

What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair? Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists. (Shipman was a doctor and a prolific serial killer) ...Continue Reading

Ask, "Have you ever won the lottery?" He'll say no. Come back with, "You can imagine how the winners feel, right?" He'll say something positive. Then you say, "That's the opposite of how I feel when I get yet another telescammer call." Then hang up. ...Continue Reading