Three women are talking about their adult children. The first one says her son graduated first in his class from medical school and is now a cardiac surgeon making $400,000 a year. The second one says her daughter is an attorney at a prestigious law firm and made $500,000 last year. The third one says her son is a repairman who makes well over a million dollars a year. He lives in a 40,000 square foot mansion and owns several exotic cars. Confused, the first woman asks, "What kind of repairman makes that kind ...Continue Reading

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A. ...Continue Reading

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted. ...Continue Reading

Keep interrupting and asking for ID information. "What was your name again? Can you spell that, please? Your date of birth? What is your social security number? What is your mother's maiden name?" If he hasn't hung up yet, ask "What is your highest level of education?" Whatever the answer is, say, "It was completely wasted on you, I see. Don't call me again." Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again. ...Continue Reading

Laboratory researchers are starting to use IRS employees instead of rats, now. There are two reasons for this: 1. They don't feel as bad if the experiment causes pain or suffering. 2. There are some things even a rat won't do. ...Continue Reading

He wears glasses during math because it improves division. ...Continue Reading

A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper. ...Continue Reading

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and say, "I would really like to describe my last bowel movement in detail. Do you have 20 minutes?" After his response, say, "I don't have time to listen about your crap either." Then hang up. ...Continue Reading