I hired a handyman and gave him a list of jobs to do. When I checked on him later he had only done numbers 1, 3, and 5 from the list. Turns out he does only odd jobs. ...Continue Reading

IRS:Where Hatred RulesandCompassion is Dead ...Continue Reading

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. ...Continue Reading

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers ...Continue Reading

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."  The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?"  "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." ...Continue Reading

Blurt out, "The most boring job I ever had? I'm glad you asked." Then start yammering about some idiotic job you never had and how it bored you to tears. "I was a paper napkin inspector for a hospital. I had to make sure the napkins were folded properly. Do you know how many ways there are to fold a napkin? I really hated that job. I'll bet you really hate yours. Why don't you hang up right now and quit?" ...Continue Reading

Moses was the first person to download information from the cloud to his tablet. ...Continue Reading

Q: Where were bobbleheads created?A: In the Land of Nod. ...Continue Reading

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," ...Continue Reading

Angus Broon of Glasgow , Scotland , comes to the little lady of the houseExclaiming, "Maggie, cud ye be sewin on a wee button that's comeOff of ma fly? I canna button ma troosers." "Och Angus, I've got ma hands in the sink, go up the stairs andSee if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin ye with it." About 5 minutes later, there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit ofYelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs. Walking back in the door with a black eye and a bloody noseComes Angus. M ...Continue Reading