What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair? Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists. (Shipman was a doctor and a prolific serial killer) ...Continue Reading

Ask, "Have you ever won the lottery?" He'll say no. Come back with, "You can imagine how the winners feel, right?" He'll say something positive. Then you say, "That's the opposite of how I feel when I get yet another telescammer call." Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

Turning vegan is a big missed steak. ...Continue Reading

Now Hiring! People with a Conscience Need Not Apply ...Continue Reading

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?" ...Continue Reading

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men." So he stabs her and nicks her purse. ...Continue Reading

Say, "How do I know this is a real person calling me? I want you to e-mail me a PDF of your driver's license. Front and back." ...Continue Reading

Bo Ring Stan Derd Noah Whey ...Continue Reading

Did you hear the one about the world's greatest watch thief? He stole all the time. ...Continue Reading

IRS: If You Positively Hate Humanity We Are Hiring ...Continue Reading