A man is driving down the highway and passes a state motorcycle officer.  The officer notices the man and also sees that he has 4 penguins in the backseat of the car. The officer chases down the car and pulls the man over, and after a short inspection of the vehicle says to the driver "what are you doing with 4 penguins in your car?"  To which the man replies "Just taking them for a ride officer."  Visibly upset, the cop instructs the man to take the penguins to the zoo.  The next ...Continue Reading

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the sailor asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"  The pirate replies "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off".  "Blimey!" said the sailor. "What about the hook?"  "Ahhhh..." ...Continue Reading

When the telescammer moves to his "closing" (high pressure question) simply remain quiet. After an awkward pause, he will repeat it. That's when you say, "I just finished installing a $350 toilet seat with a heated bidet and I really want to try it out. Plus, I feel like I'm going to explode at any moment. Should I put you on MUTE?" ...Continue Reading

I used to feel like a million bucks. Now I feel more like a bounced check. ...Continue Reading

IRS:We Have ThePower to DestroyAnd Get Off Using It ...Continue Reading

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day.  Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"  Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."  They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.  One day soon afterward, So ...Continue Reading

The Biden era of communism, racism, censorship, and gas lighting was a disaster that we are going to be digging out from for a long time. The American people chose a true hero to lead the recovery, and he chose a team of excellent, intelligent, moral people in contrast to his predecessor's team of incompetent, morally bankrupt morons. ...Continue Reading

 When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they worked for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation. ...Continue Reading

When the telescammer pauses to take a breath, ask, "Can you please repeat that in English?" ...Continue Reading

Police have arrested the World Tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence. ...Continue Reading