What happens if you scream at an electrician, "Eat my shorts!"? ...Continue Reading

IRS:IncompetentRetardedStupid ...Continue Reading

After months of gentle urging from his wife, a man finally had to admit he needed a hearing aid.  The audiologist confirmed it. "How much do they cost?" he asked her.   "As you might expect," she said, "There's quite a wide range. They run from $2.00 to $2,000."  "Wow, the low end is lower than I would have ever guessed!" he said. "Let's see the $2.00 model."  The woman gave a knowing nod, and pulled it out of the closest drawer. "You just s ...Continue Reading

A devout church-going woman named Anna hangs around after mass one day to talk to the priest. When he steps out of the church, she says to him, "Heaven help me, Father, I have a problem." "What is your problem, my child?" the priest asks. "Well," Anna begins, "I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing, and they say it over and over again." "What do they say?" the priest inquires. "They say, 'Hi, we're easy. Want to have s ...Continue Reading

When a telemarketer starts off, he usually spews a blur of sound from which you are supposed to know who's calling. Fat chance, there. So return the favor. Reply to any questions the same way. Speak super fast and blur the words together, skipping consonants. ...Continue Reading

The irate barber was in a lather. ...Continue Reading

I would like to share an experience with all of you, having to do with drinking and driving. As you know, some people have had brushes with the authorities on their way home. One of my friends has done something about it. The other night, he was out for a dinner and a few drinks with some friends. After having far too much vino, my friend--knowing he was totally wasted--decided to do something he had never done before. He took a bus home.  He arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surp ...Continue Reading

Classes for Men: Day Two EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?Group discussion and role play  HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation  REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOSTReal life testimonial from the one man who did  IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? Driving simulation  LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNEROnline class and role playing  HOW TO BE THE ID ...Continue Reading

Classes for Men: Day One  HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYSStep by step guide with slide presentation  TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?Roundtable discussion  DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)  DISHES & TABLEWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts.  LOSS OF VIRILITY Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups  LEARNING HOW T ...Continue Reading

After he makes his opening statement, which likely includes slurring his name, say, "Wow! A real telemarketer! I have been waiting for my whole life to get a telemarketing call! Wait, I have to go tell my wife!" Then set the phone down and don't pick it up again until the call has ended. ...Continue Reading