Q: How does the silly witch know what time it is? A: She looks at her witch-watch. Q: What kind of protozoa likes Halloween? A: An amoeboo! Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night? A: By blood vessels. Q: Why do ghouls and demons hang out together? A: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend! Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist? A: He was repossessed. Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch? A: A BOO-logna sandwich. ...Continue Reading

Q: Where do mummies go for a swim? A: To the dead sea Q: What is Transylvania? A: Dracula's terror-tory Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: Pumpkin Pi A: But if you divide the diameter by the circumference, you get inverted pumpkin pi! Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries? A: Because people are dying to get in. Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts. ...Continue Reading

Q: Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day? A: It's good for the bones Q: What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? A: White Pillowcases Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? A: Squash Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away Q: What was the witches' favorite subject in school? A: Spelling Q: Why did the mummy call the doctor? A: Because he was coffin Q: What does a vampire fear most? A: Tooth decay Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account? A: At a blo ...Continue Reading

Q. What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? A. A cereal killer Q. Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly? A. Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M & M's. Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party? A. Because everyone was a goblin! Q. How did the ghost patch his sheet? A. With a pumpkin patch. Q. What is as sharp as a vampires fang? A. His other fang. Q: What do the birds sing on Halloween? A: Twick or Tweet Q: What did the little ghost have in ...Continue Reading

Q. What do witches put on their hair? A. Scare spray Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A. Bamboo Q. What's a haunted chicken? A. A poultry-geist Q. Why did the monster eat a light bulb? A. Because he was in need of a light snack Q. Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles? A. Have you ever tried to iron a monster? Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make? A. Boo boos Q. Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? A. Because of his coffin ...Continue Reading

Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry? A. They're afraid of flying off the handle! Q. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? A. No body Q. What do skeletons say before they begin dining? A. Bone appetit! Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A. Dayscare centers Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A. His ghoul friend. Q. What monster flies his kite in a rain storm? A. Benjamin Frankenstein Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert? A. Ice Scream Q. What's a monster's favorite pla ...Continue Reading

*** Keep your kids safe, this year. Don't let them trick or treat at the homes of known IRS employees. *** ...Continue Reading

A man answered the door on Halloween night. A little boy was standing there. The boy wasn't wearing a costume. Instead, he was dressed in slacks and a dress shirt and tie. The little boy said, "Trick or treat." Confused, the man asked, "What are you supposed to be?" With a straight face, the little boy answered saying, "I'm an IRS agent." The man held out the Halloween bowl and the boy took 25 percent of it, then left without even saying "Thank you." An hour later, the kid w ...Continue Reading

My wife thinks our kids are spoiled, but I think most kids smell like that. ...Continue Reading

IRS: We Love to Abuse Innocent People And the Good Ones Twice ...Continue Reading