This skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop." ...Continue Reading

A man answered the door on Halloween night.  A little boy was standing there. The boy wasn't wearing a costume. Instead, he was dressed in slacks and a dress shirt and tie.  The little boy said, "Trick or treat." Confused, the man asked, "What are you supposed to be?"  With a straight face, the little boy answered saying, "I'm an IRS agent."  The man held out the Halloween bowl and the boy took 25 percent of it, then left without even saying "Thank you." & ...Continue Reading

Q: How do you know when Joe Biden made the right decision?A: Look overhead. If you see pigs flying, he got it right. ...Continue Reading

Answer back with, "You're the same guy who tried to sell me penis enhancer cream yesterday." When he denies it, start arguing. "I know it was you. What's your name? Didn't you say you had a birthmark on your armpit? And your mother joined the Bolivian Army?" ...Continue Reading

The bell rings. The teacher starts class and 3 kids are late. Teacher says, "Why are you late?"The first kid replies, "I was on top of Rose Hill".Teacher: "OK, take a seat."The second kid walks in.Teacher: "Why are you late?"The kid replies, "I was on top of Rose Hill too".Teacher: "OK, take a seat."The third kid walks in.Teacher: "I guess, you were on top of Rose Hill?" The kid replies, "No, I am Rose Hill." ...Continue Reading

An oxymoron walks into a deli and orders fresh frozen jumbo shrimp. ...Continue Reading

Star Trek: Tax GenerationThe actors playing Captain Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise return from their five-year voyage to find liens on their property and IRS agents hounding them in "Star Wreck". The script was based on the experiences of Wesley Snipes and Willie Nelson, not those of tax cheats Tim Geithner and Chuck Rangel (now both fabulously wealthy and free of any tax evasion consequences). Could also be called "Tax Trek". ...Continue Reading

No other Democrat has done so much to make so many registered Democrats become registered Republicans. Causing massive defections from the Democrat Party is the one thing he's done right. ...Continue Reading

Ask, "What high school did you go to?" No matter what the answer, sound like you know the place and ask about a fellow student. "Oh, yeah. Did you know Sunil Vanaswammy?" If you can't place the accent or can't think of a name quickly enough to match it, use Gary Johnson (unless that's your name, in which case use Bill Jones or Brenda Smith). Then start talking about this fake person. ...Continue Reading

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" ...Continue Reading