CleanJokes Archives

 

(j)Good news for parents

October 29th 2024 EDT

Well, there's good news for many Americans. The IRS plan to penalize the parents of children who fail to report Halloween candy as income will be limited to waitresses, waiters, teachers, and small business owners. ...Continue Reading

Scariest Halloween Ever

October 28th 2024 EDT

Forget about ghosts and goblins. Joe Biden is our President! That is super-scary, considering not just the damage he's already done but the fact that he was installed by blatantly obvious fraud and everyone charged with the responsibility to stop such a thing let it happen. ...Continue Reading

(j)Snail costume

October 27th 2024 EDT

A man with a woman strapped to his back shows up at a Halloween costume party.The host asks, "I don't get your costume. What did you come as?"The man replies,"I came as a snail."The host snickers and says, "What about her?"The man replies, "She's Michelle". ...Continue Reading

(j)Jim and Jason

October 26th 2024 EDT

Two brothers, Jim and Jason, had been going to the same Halloween party every year for the past 40 years. They were noted for their originality in "figure out what I am" costumes. In fact, this was now a regular contest. The first person to figure out what they both were would get a prize--assuming that happened within the two-hour time limit. Most years, it didn't. Jim and Jason walked around the party for two hours, carrying a coffee can with a slot in the lid. People would wink and drop in their ballot ...Continue Reading

(j)Setting expectations

October 25th 2024 EDT

During the 2020 election, Joe Biden set our expectations. We didn't expect he would "win", but then we didn't expect all those mail-in votes to come in after the polls closed in the swing states and we didn't expect 93% of them to be for Biden. We did expect him to be a bumbling fool, and on that score he has delivered what we expected. ...Continue Reading

(j)All set for Halloween

October 24th 2024 EDT

Dave looked down at the papers in front of him, then looked up. "I see you people are all set for Halloween." The person he spoke to asked, "How do you mean?" "You may not be dressed up, but there's no mistaking you for vampires. I've never met such blood suckers in all my life. When my kids ask for Halloween costumes this year, I'm going to bring them to your office to see what real monsters look like." With that, Dave rose from his chair and left the IRS offices. ...Continue Reading

(j)Costume Loan

October 23rd 2024 EDT

A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween party but the wife had a terrible headache. She told her husband to go anyway. After a short argument he agreed, and she took some aspirin and went to bed.  Later she awoke and felt great, so she decided to go to the party and see what her hubby did when she wasn't around. As soon as she arrived, she noticed him on the dance floor getting very friendly with every hottie in the place, and groping them when he could. She then cut in and rubbed close to him. When th ...Continue Reading

This year's Halloween cautionary tale

October 22nd 2024 EDT

Jon and Lana were invited to a Halloween party through a friend of a friend. It was a catered event with a cover charge. Their friend had told them it was a networking kind of thing, and the host simply wanted success-minded people to get together and mingle. The party would be heavily decorated and have a few Halloween-themed booths that people could visit for amusement, but costumes were discouraged. Bring a resume or pass out business cards, and you'd be asked to leave. The host had a registry. Fill out your inf ...Continue Reading

Wrong Day

October 21st 2024 EDT

Why do we have Halloween in October, when the scariest day of the year is April 15th? The real monsters aren't out asking for candy, they are sitting in offices dreaming up ways to use their IRS power to abuse citizens who can't fight back. These folks make Freddy Krueger look downright cuddly! Put some scare into these psychopaths: www.fairtax.org ...Continue Reading

(j)Desperate Costume

October 20th 2024 EDT

Desperate for a unique Halloween costume for the up-coming party, Jessica had an inspired idea.She put on a slinky dress and fishnet stockings, and then balanced a small table-top on her head. Affixed to it were a lamp, two champagne glasses, and a wastebasket with four condom wrappers.She went as a "one night stand" and won first prize! (Second prize went to a dude who covered himself in feces and came as an IRS agent). ...Continue Reading
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