CleanJokes Archives

 

(j)Halloween Riddles, #4

October 7th 2024 EDT

Q: Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day? A: It's good for the bones Q: What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? A: White Pillowcases Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? A: SquashQ: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away Q: What was the witches' favorite subject in school? A: Spelling Q: Why did the mummy call the doctor? A: Because he was coffinQ: What does a vampire fear most? A: Tooth decay Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account? A: At a blood bank ...Continue Reading

(j)Halloween Riddles, #3

October 6th 2024 EDT

Q. What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? A. A cereal killer  Q. Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly? A. Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M & M's.Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party? A. Because everyone was a goblin!Q. How did the ghost patch his sheet? A. With a pumpkin patch.Q. What is as sharp as a vampires fang? A. His other fang. Q: What do the birds sing on Halloween? A: Twick or Tweet Q: What did the little ghost have in hi ...Continue Reading

(j)Halloween Riddles, #2

October 5th 2024 EDT

Q. What do witches put on their hair? A. Scare sprayQ. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A. Bamboo Q. What's a haunted chicken? A. A poultry-geistQ. Why did the monster eat a light bulb? A. Because he was in need of a light snack Q. Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles? A. Have you ever tried to iron a monster? Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make? A. Boo boos Q. Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? A. Because of his coffin ...Continue Reading

(j)Halloween Riddles, #1

October 4th 2024 EDT

Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?A. They're afraid of flying off the handle! Q. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?A. No body Q. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?A. Bone appetit!Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A. Dayscare centers Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A. His ghoul friend. Q. What monster flies his kite in a rain storm? A. Benjamin FrankensteinQ. What do ghosts serve for dessert? A. Ice Scream Q. What's a monster's favorite play? A. ...Continue Reading

Confirmed

October 4th 2024 EDT

Brainless Biden's appearance on The View confirmed his mental decline reached a truly scary level because the audience for that show are all stupid in the extreme. ...Continue Reading

Halloween Safety Reminder

October 3rd 2024 EDT

***Keep your kids safe, this year. Don't let them trick or treat at the homes of known IRS employees.*** ...Continue Reading

(j)Skeleton Walks Into A Bar

September 29th 2024 EDT

This skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop." ...Continue Reading

(j)A very scary kid

September 28th 2024 EDT

A man answered the door on Halloween night.  A little boy was standing there. The boy wasn't wearing a costume. Instead, he was dressed in slacks and a dress shirt and tie.  The little boy said, "Trick or treat." Confused, the man asked, "What are you supposed to be?"  With a straight face, the little boy answered saying, "I'm an IRS agent."  The man held out the Halloween bowl and the boy took 25 percent of it, then left without even saying "Thank you." & ...Continue Reading

(j)How Do You Know?

September 27th 2024 EDT

Q: How do you know when Joe Biden made the right decision?A: Look overhead. If you see pigs flying, he got it right. ...Continue Reading

(j)Punishing Telescammers, #248

September 26th 2024 EDT

Answer back with, "You're the same guy who tried to sell me penis enhancer cream yesterday." When he denies it, start arguing. "I know it was you. What's your name? Didn't you say you had a birthmark on your armpit? And your mother joined the Bolivian Army?" ...Continue Reading
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