Interrupt and say, "It's entertaining to be phoned by some random retard. Do they make you wear clown make-up? ...Continue Reading

In my many years I  have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress. - John  Adams   ...Continue Reading

Q: What is one thing almost nobody is thankful for?A: Waiting in line after Thanksgiving and smelling other people's turkey farts. On the other hand, if you are sadistic enough--you wait for this time all year long. Then you get next to the longest, slowest line you can find and release a string of "silent but deadly" farts and walk off. ...Continue Reading

 Q: Why did Pilgrims' pants always fall down?  A: Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat. ...Continue Reading

https://twitter.com/ScottBaio/status/1726457496683028692 ...Continue Reading

 Someday, Thanksgiving will have real meaning to Americans. We will celebrate the day that our lawful government (yet to be re-established) abolished the IRS. In the meantime, let's remember most of the people they hire are retards, screw-ups, and misfits. We should not fear IRS employees, we should ridicule them. ...Continue Reading

This little snippet is becoming common in the workplace, as people mull over working like dogs and still being broke: "After you take a Joe, don't forget to wipe your Biden." ...Continue Reading

It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door. "Please let me in! I forgot to buy a turkey and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."  "OK. Let me see what's left."  He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.  "That one's too skinny. What else have you got?"  The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minute ...Continue Reading

An elderly gentleman was reading his recovery-room record at the hospital where I work.  He looked quite concerned at one notation.  "I know I was in a bit of a muddle, but I didn't realize I was that bad," he said to me apologetically. "I hope I didn't offend anyone."  He was greatly relieved when I explained the acronym in question meant "Short Of Breath" and not what he thought. ...Continue Reading

The preacher said, "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up."  Nobody stood up.  "Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up."  One elderly gentleman stood up.  "Are you honestly saying you knew an absolutely perfect man?" he asked, somewhat amazed.  "Well now, I didn't know him personally," replied the little old man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first ...Continue Reading