Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army. ...Continue Reading

The communists impeached Trump four times. At the end of his first term, we had the lowest unemployment in 50 years, the rate of inflation was decreasing, we were energy-independent, we met our CO2 targets, peace was being brokered in the Middle East, Russia stayed out of Ukraine, and businesses were growing. All of the opposite is true now after 3 years of Biden. And yet, not a single impeachment. I wish I were joking ...Continue Reading

When the scammer pauses, ask, "Did your parents take you to the zoo when you were a kid?" If YES, then "It's too bad the zoo refused to keep you." If NO, then "They should have done that and left you there." ...Continue Reading

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. ...Continue Reading

I became an elementary math teacher so I could make the little things count. ...Continue Reading

Two IRS agents are resting up after rendering yet another innocent person homeless. One turns to the other and says, "That's another person who'll be without shelter this winter instead of thinking of tax shelters." ...Continue Reading

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. ...Continue Reading

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. ...Continue Reading

Brainless Biden has failed at everything he's done since being illegally installed in office as POTUS. No other POTUS has been a 100% failure. Even Obama got a few things right, and he managed to surpass Wilson as the worst POTUS of all time in terms of financial damage. Wilson still holds the record on death toll (6 million Jews in Hitlerland and 12 million in the USSR, plus all the other deaths in the two World Wars he caused), but Biden's pushing of the terribly unsafe experimental gene therapy has pushed him into a ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and ask, "How did you get this number?" You'll get some lame answer. Come back with, "Why are you asking for my dead brother (if a girl's name or dead sister if a guy's name -- so you really confuse the caller). ...Continue Reading