Many people are surprised when they hear how large the IRS headcount actually is. If you laid all IRS employees end to end around the equator, it would be a good idea to leave them there. ...Continue Reading

Walking home one night, this guy hears a, "Psst! Psst!-give me a hand with this pig would you?"  Looking into the shadows the guy sees his neighbor holding onto a restless and aggitated pig. "What the heck are you planning to do with that?" he asks.  "I'm carrying it indoors and putting in the bath tub."  "Why do you wanna do a crazy thing like that?"  "Well, you see, it's my wife. She is one of those women who knows EVERYTHING! I tell her that the price o ...Continue Reading

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.  "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."  So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband "playing pattycake" with the female boss. She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. &nb ...Continue Reading

Q: What is Joe Biden's IQ?A: He doesn't have one. ...Continue Reading

As he's talking, make a straining sound.  Then apologize and say you just took the mother of all dumps and "I missed what you said. Can you repeat it?" About halfway through his pitch, do this again. ...Continue Reading

Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next.  Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"  "No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"  "Listen," his friend sugg ...Continue Reading

What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? Answer: Guardians of the Galaxy. ...Continue Reading

IRS:LiarsThievesCriminals ...Continue Reading

A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. Thinking it would make the trip more bearable, he invited several coworkers to share the ride. However, the commute actually got more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the company doctor.  "Doc," the frustrated commuter complained, "I'm fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even wh ...Continue Reading

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.  After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"  After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone." ...Continue Reading