Not long ago, I met the waitress of my dreams.  About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad."  She nodded, picked up the potato and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know." ...Continue Reading

Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood. ...Continue Reading

A Jewish son tells his father he is moving out. The son returns a year later and tells his father that he has converted to Christianity. The father is upset and calls his friend who is also Jewish. “You won’t believe this, my son David moved out for a year and came back and told me he converted to Christianity.”  His friend says, “you won’t believe this...my son Benjamin moved away for a year and when he came back HE converted to Christianity too”! Both upset, they call their rabbi and explain what happened.   ...Continue Reading

A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says. The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral. “What does that mean?” the blonde says. “It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay u ...Continue Reading

Bidenomics is part of DEI. They want to make sure that when it comes to poverty, everyone feels included. ...Continue Reading

Interrupt and say, "I'm sorry, I though you were the diarrhea assistance people calling me back. Last week, I got help from the constipation assistance line and now I can't stop going." ...Continue Reading

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?It's okay. He woke up. ...Continue Reading

IRS:Useless PeopleWho Enjoy DestroyingUseful People ...Continue Reading

Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill."  Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.  Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on.  "Well," said the other brother, "you said ...Continue Reading

"I'd like the number for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the 411 operator.  "There are multiple listings for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the operator said. "Do you have a street name?"  The young man hesitated a moment,  "Well, uh, most people call me Snake." ...Continue Reading