Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving. ...Continue Reading

IRS: Useless Morons in a Useless Agency ...Continue Reading

Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat. ...Continue Reading

Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat. ...Continue Reading

Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken. ...Continue Reading

Say to him, "Wait, did you say your name is Bill? From ACME Loan Sharks? I got a call yesterday from a guy at your company. Great conversation. He told me about his coworker, Bill, who has body odor and is probably a pedophile. That must be you!" Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..... ...Continue Reading

IRS: The World's Most Feared and Hated Terrorist Group ...Continue Reading

Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat. ...Continue Reading

Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. ...Continue Reading