Scream loudly into the phone, as if you have just been severely injured. Then calmly say, "Sorry, I stubbed my toe." And hang up. ...Continue Reading

Maya DickCharles TonneCee Mei ...Continue Reading

Is google a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions. ...Continue Reading

IRS: If youtortured small animalsas a kidwe want to hire you ...Continue Reading

A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling (or braces). ...Continue Reading

The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing. ...Continue Reading

A bouncer was in charge of deciding whether people could come into the night club. Unbeknownst to the management, he was a racist. And he hated "white" people. Three people approached the door. The bouncer looked at the black guy and said, "Name the last three presidents of the USA." The guy laughed and rattled off their names. "Fine," the bouncer said, "I'll let you in when I open the door."  Turning to the Hispanic, he said, "Name the current President of the ...Continue Reading

Download a video or audio recording of a dog barking. Or record it yourself. Have this ready for the next few telescammers. You know what to do….                                                               &n ...Continue Reading

(these are from newspaper clippings!)Sirius BonnerYoshie TakeashitaYoYo Moore (no relation to YoYo Ma?) ...Continue Reading

My girlfriend left me because she couldn't handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out. ...Continue Reading