http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6kwUBrRjaM ...Continue Reading

I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."  However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.  If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels ...Continue Reading

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.  "Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."  "Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.  "You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" My wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."  "How do you want your eggs? ...Continue Reading

After being fake-elected, Joe Biden was told the Secret Service would brief him within the hour. Biden responded by saying, "I prefer boxers, because there's more room for my adult diapers that way." ...Continue Reading

Ask the caller stupid questions like, "What's your shoe size? Is it raining where you are? Did you have to drop out of medical school to take the job you have now?" ...Continue Reading

Carmen GettitCarmen CandyBrian Less (similar to brainless) ...Continue Reading

A straight face and a sincere-sounding "Huh?" have gotten me out of more trouble than I can remember. ...Continue Reading

IRS:Where HatredAnd PowerRun Amok ...Continue Reading

Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter, "Hoover!" under his breath.  On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. "Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.  On the third hole, a miracle occured & Fr. Murphy's drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! "Praise be to God!"  He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of go ...Continue Reading

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.  "What is it made of?" she asked.  "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.  "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."  "Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster." ...Continue Reading