February 25th 2024 EDT
You can never put anything back in a box the way it came ...Continue Reading
February 24th 2024 EDT
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING. ...Continue Reading
February 23rd 2024 EDT
After being fake-elected, Joe Biden took one look at his pot-bellied, cackling VP and, uh, forgot what he was going to say. ...Continue Reading
February 22nd 2024 EDT
Ask him to turn the volume down. "It's so loud, it hurts my ears." After he does that, say, "What? I can't hear you." Keep playing this volume game back and forth until he hangs up in frustration. ...Continue Reading
February 21st 2024 EDT
(these are from newspaper clippings!)Long WiwiCheam CreemsQuindarious Gooch ...Continue Reading
February 20th 2024 EDT
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family. ...Continue Reading
February 19th 2024 EDT
IRS:ExpertsInAgony ...Continue Reading
February 18th 2024 EDT
You open a can of soup and the lid falls in ...Continue Reading
February 17th 2024 EDT
There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address. ...Continue Reading
February 16th 2024 EDT
After being fake-elected, Joe Biden celebrated by walking up to his Secret Service detail and sniffing their hair. One responded by wrinkling his nose and asking, "Who just crapped their pants?" ...Continue Reading
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