Q. Do female frogs croak?A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. ...Continue Reading

The CDC conducted a $15 million study on the effects of alcohol on the way a person walks, and the results were staggering. ...Continue Reading

A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to finalize their break-up.  The judge asked the husband, "What has brought you to this point, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?"  The husband said, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing."  The wife said, "Seven weeks." ...Continue Reading

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret.  The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe. So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, S ...Continue Reading

Q: How many Bidens does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Nobody really knows, but we have discovered that it take only one to screw the whole country. ...Continue Reading

As soon as the scammer stops to ask you something, speak in a low, calm tone and annunciate slowly. Say, "Listen very carefully to me. I have special skills. I hunt down people like you. And I take them out. Painfully, over several days. Picture yourself losing a toe, then an hour later losing a finger. Call me again, and it won't be just your imagination." Then hang up. ...Continue Reading

Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!  Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help & she could see why.  Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the 2nd boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.  She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier ...Continue Reading

If you're being chased by a pack of taxidermists, don't play dead. ...Continue Reading

IRS:An Agency ofthe IneptAbusing Others ...Continue Reading

Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids.  She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I'm half-way to the nut hatch."  "What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," her friend said.  So Mary bought a playpen.  A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going.  "Superb! I can't believe it," Mary said. "I get in that playpen with a good book and the kids don't bothe ...Continue Reading