Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading. ...Continue Reading

After being fake-elected, Joe Biden asked his Secret Service detail if they were still secret. ...Continue Reading

They always rattle off their name so fast, you can't possibly catch it. Ask him his name at least three times, and then ask him to spell it. When that's done, ask, "What high school did you go to?"" ...Continue Reading

(these are from newspaper clippings!)Dong Dong (who's there?, ha, ha)Rick TitballDick Hunter ...Continue Reading

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?" ...Continue Reading

You can never put anything back in a box the way it came ...Continue Reading

There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING. ...Continue Reading

After being fake-elected, Joe Biden took one look at his pot-bellied, cackling VP and, uh, forgot what he was going to say. ...Continue Reading

Ask him to turn the volume down. "It's so loud, it hurts my ears." After he does that, say, "What? I can't hear you." Keep playing this volume game back and forth until he hangs up in frustration. ...Continue Reading

(these are from newspaper clippings!)Long WiwiCheam CreemsQuindarious Gooch ...Continue Reading