A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween party but the wife had a terrible headache. She told her husband to go anyway. After a short argument he agreed, and she took some aspirin and went to bed.  Later she awoke and felt great, so she decided to go to the party and see what her hubby did when she wasn't around. As soon as she arrived, she noticed him on the dance floor getting very friendly with every hottie in the place, and groping them when he could. She then cut in and rubbed close to him. When th ...Continue Reading

Jon and Lana were invited to a Halloween party through a friend of a friend. It was a catered event with a cover charge. Their friend had told them it was a networking kind of thing, and the host simply wanted success-minded people to get together and mingle. The party would be heavily decorated and have a few Halloween-themed booths that people could visit for amusement, but costumes were discouraged. Bring a resume or pass out business cards, and you'd be asked to leave. The host had a registry. Fill out your inf ...Continue Reading

Why do we have Halloween in October, when the scariest day of the year is April 15th? The real monsters aren't out asking for candy, they are sitting in offices dreaming up ways to use their IRS power to abuse citizens who can't fight back. These folks make Freddy Krueger look downright cuddly! ...Continue Reading

Desperate for a unique Halloween costume for the up-coming party, Jessica had an inspired idea.She put on a slinky dress and fishnet stockings, and then balanced a small table-top on her head. Affixed to it were a lamp, two champagne glasses, and a wastebasket with four condom wrappers.She went as a "one night stand" and won first prize! (Second prize went to a dude who covered himself in feces and came as an IRS agent). ...Continue Reading

Halloween is actually better than sex. Here are the reasons: It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning. It doesn't matter if they fantasize you're somebody else, because you are. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go again.You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some. If you wear a Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky. If you get a stomachache, it won't last 9 months.If you get tired, nobody gets an attitude. Maybe aches, but never guilt the morning after. If you just l ...Continue Reading

Little Johnny's parents were called to come pick him up at school. They were also requested to meet with the Principal about pending expulsion. The Principal asked, "Did either of you see how Little Johnny was dressed for Halloween when he left for school this morning?"Dad: "Well yes, actually, I did. It was my turn to see the kids off to school, and both were dressed as pirates."Principal: "I'm afraid Johnny fooled you and changed his costume somewhere between home and school. And what he ...Continue Reading

A man answered the door on Halloween night.  A little boy was standing there. The boy wasn't wearing a costume. Instead, he was dressed in slacks and a dress shirt and tie.  The little boy said, "Trick or treat." Confused, the man asked, "What are you supposed to be?"  With a straight face, the little boy answered saying, "I'm an IRS agent."  The man held out the Halloween bowl and the boy took 25 percent of it, then left without even saying "Thank you." & ...Continue Reading

Each year, John throws a themed Halloween costume party, and had even rents a large ballroom for the occasion. The theme this year is evil, and you are supposed to come as the most evil person you could think of other than Hillary Clinton (else, everyone would come as Hillary Clinton). Looking around from the entryway, John saw 8 Nancy "Nutcase" Pelosis, 6 Adolph Hitlers, 4 Ted Kennedys, 4 Satans, 4 Chuck Schumers, 2 Darth Vaders, and some others that weren't duplicated. He also saw a couple who came as J ...Continue Reading

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.  He replies, "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you"  She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."  "Well, I'v ...Continue Reading

On Halloween, a rookie cop hauled a guy up in front of the desk sergeant. The man had a desk strapped to his back, a water cooler under his right arm, and a laptop computer under his left arm. He was wearing a fax machine for a hat. The desk sergeant growled, "What's the charge, Murphy'?"  "Impersonating an office, sir." ...Continue Reading