AnythingGoes Archives

 

(j)They lie about everything

March 22nd 2026 EDT

Democrats: This shit sandwich is really delicious! If you don't rave about it, we will deplatform you. Open wide…. Republicans: That's a shit sandwich. Even with those sesame seeds, it can't taste good. Here, eat this ham and Swiss on rye instead. I'll throw the other one out for you. Legacy media: Trump takes food away from hungry Democrats, tries to slip them something white as part of his being so racist. ...Continue Reading

Julius and Mick, #6

March 21st 2026 EDT

Julius is in the bathroom and Mick shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?" Julius says, "Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine." ...Continue Reading

Julius and Mick, #5

March 20th 2026 EDT

Julius & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.  Mick:  "What if one explodes before we get there?" Julius: "We'll lie and say we only found two." ...Continue Reading

(j)Punishing Telescammers, #303

March 19th 2026 EDT

Ask him to spell his name. Then slowly say the letters back, but get them wrong. Keep this going until he hangs up. ...Continue Reading

What were the parents thinking, names #71

March 18th 2026 EDT

Bart Fokker Colin Fokker Luke Warm ...Continue Reading

(j)One-liner #321

March 17th 2026 EDT

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired. ...Continue Reading

IRS T-shirts, #261

March 16th 2026 EDT

IRS: Amoral Morons With Unbridled Power ...Continue Reading

Julius and Mick, #4

March 15th 2026 EDT

Mick says to Julius,  "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Julius says "Let's hope it's not the 13th." ...Continue Reading

Julius and Mick, #3

March 14th 2026 EDT

Julius says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got = pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.  Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?  Julius replies, - I'll take her with me! ...Continue Reading

Julius and Mick, #2

March 13th 2026 EDT

Mick walks into Julius' barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Oh, no, Julius, what ya doing?"  Julius says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter..... ...Continue Reading
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