I sold derivatives to entire nations, bankrupting them. I made $273 million on the Iceland one. Then I foreclosed on Santa's workshop, laid off the elves, had the reindeer slaughtered and made into sausage, and collected a commission of $29.6 million. I also hocked the presents they were storing up, so some additional pocket change there.

After that, I changed my business organization to collect $35 billion in federal TARP money.

I robbed a blind man of his pencils so I could fill out the bailout form.

I'll be spending Christmas in the Bahamas, counting up the offshore money I don't report to the IRS as I plan my run for Congress next year.

Ho, ho, ho is my nickname, and I ho any chance I get.