Halloween is actually better than sex. Here are the reasons:

It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

It doesn't matter if they fantasize you're somebody else, because you are.

If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go again.

You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

If you wear a Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

If you get a stomachache, it won't last 9 months.

If you get tired, nobody gets an attitude.

Maybe aches, but never guilt the morning after.

If you just lick it, it'll last longer.

You can let others see your big sack!

You don't have to have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth (actually, this is a point for sex--not Halloween).

You can get scared stiff!

You can have Candy spread out on the living room floor!

You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

Forty years from now, you'll still enjoy it.

If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.